In the last series of “mommy struggles” I talked about my anxiety having more children. Well, I’m happy and overwhelmed and excited and nervous to say that I will be learning firsthand what it means to be a mom of 2. I’m now 16 weeks pregnant and boy, is this pregnancy different than the last. For one thing, those anxieties about how I’m going to handle more children is less of a (scary) dream and becoming my reality. The hardest part is not the pregnancy itself, it’s my expectations and my insecurities about whether or not I’ll be able to handle 2 kids. Which was pretty much he hardest part of my first pregnancy. The answer: of course, I will, right? People have babies everyday. 2 and 3 and sometimes even 6! Surely, I can handle 2 kids under 3….
This pregnancy itself has been pretty easy. Some nausea and sickness in the beginning but now that I’m in the second trimester, I feel pretty good. I’m still exhausted and even more so than last time since I have a toddler to take care of this time around, but other than that I can’t complain. So I won’t. I’ll only say that I’m thankful and feeling very lucky to be able to have another baby and to get double the love that I’ve already been blessed to receive. But I’m still tired and cranky. Sorry, I can’t help myself.
I guess what I want to convey is that the struggles we have as moms a lot of the time is pressure we put on ourselves. As women and as mothers. All the worry and anxiety about being able to have another baby was for nothing. God only gives you what you can handle, right? So apparently I’ve got this mom of 2 gig in the bag 😉
17 weeks pregnant!
One of my favorite pieces of work out equipment is the Bosu Ball. I love when you can do a million exercises on 1 thing. It’s easy to use and transport, while still being tough on you!
For these exercises shown below, I usually do this as part of a complete hour workout. Which means if I’m doing a circuit workout, I may run for 5 mins, then do strength exercises for 10mins, run for 5 then do something else. This Bosu workout below is the something else. Each exercise is done at my own pace, as many reps as possible for 30-45secs and I do it twice.
Have you tried the Bosu lately? You’ll be glad you did once you start.
In this “struggle series” I wanted to discuss my anxiety about having more children. I’m not sure if anyone else has ever felt this way after having kids, but now that it’s time for us to start trying for another baby, I can’t help but be nervous that my pregnancy will be difficult or I’ll have preeclampsia again. I guess it’s like any new endeavor: going to a new school, moving to a new city, starting a new job. All of those things bring that same uncertainty of the unknown, but somehow you rise to the challenge and come out ok, sometimes better than before.
Not to mention I’m 35 now and according to modern medicine once you’re over 35 you’re too old to have kids. My doctor is wonderful, however and relays the basics but doesn’t dwell on it. She cuts to the chase, yes I’m 35 and it might be harder but it also depends on each individual and each pregnancy is different, so bottom line is I shouldn’t worry. I can’t help it though, I’m a natural worrier.
I’m also stuck on trying to lose the last 15lbs of post-baby weight so that I don’t start off heavier the second time around. That means more consistent exercising, healthier meals and staying more active. Fall is slowly approaching us here in the south so that means hopefully we can do more things outside, take more walks and enjoy the outdoors. It’s a constant battle between wanting to sleep and wanting to workout. It never used to be this hard but I’m not giving up.
So what else is there to do? Well if I can’t worry I’m going to focus on the positive. I’m going to continue to work out, try to eat healthy and let things happen naturally. If I’m meant to have another baby, I will. Meanwhile I have the most amazing son and husband and family and I’ll continue to try and be the best mother and wife I can be. I guess that all any of us can do!
My cute little family at Disneyworld 👆🏽
What happens when the frustration really sets in and those last few pounds you want off stick around longer than you thought? I’m having a hard time getting back to a healthier weight or a healthier weight for me. I know, I know. I tell my clients all the time. It’s not so much about the number but more how you feel and how your clothes feel. Well, I feel like crap and my clothes are still tight. I could blame all the normal things to blame: the fact that I had a baby, I’m exercising and nothing is happening, I’m watching what I eat. What else is there? In reality I only have myself to blame. Yes, I had a baby. 2 years ago! And there are millions of women who have had babies and are able to lose the weight they want. Yes, I am exercising but not as intensely as I used to. Mainly because I’m so tired. And the eating…let’s just say the weekends are definitely my downfall.
I think the key thing to take away from this is that I shouldn’t compare how easy or hard it is for me to lose weight to other moms who have have done in less or more time. I am constantly coming to terms with the fact that I gave birth and it was not as easy as I thought it would be. And that’s ok. Now it’s what am I going to do about it? The answer is never give up. I’m going to keep at it and try different things, because let’s face it: my body is different. So the same things that used to work for me pre-baby may not work now post-baby.
Stay tuned for more on my journey and some new workouts that I’m trying that might work for you.
I’ve been struggling with how to start this post and how I was going to explain what exactly I mean by this statement. I never thought much about my search for a doctor, mainly because I was rarely sick and just went to whoever: urgent care, a recommendation from a friend. Until I got pregnant, and saw how important it is to have the right doctor. I saw firsthand how incredibly important it is to have someone you trust, someone who is on the same page as you in terms of what you will and won’t do, someone you are entrusting your life with to have your best interest at heart. That’s hard to do. Doctors see so many patients and deal with so much. They can be amazing. Or they can be the worst. How can you be sure they actually care about you? This isn’t important only for expecting mothers but for anyone who may be feeling out of sorts or might need a basic check-up.
Healthcare is something we know is important but that we all take for granted until it’s absolutely necessary. We as a society don’t focus on health enough. My mom used to tell me that without your health, what do you have? And she’s right. How can you work and enjoy the things you work for, enjoy your family, your friends without being healthy and feeling your best? You can’t. And I mean overall health too. Your mental as well as the physical. I could write for hours debating the benefit of each but I just wanted to give my opinion using my past pregnancy.
I’ve written before about my troubles with pre-eclampsia before. I was fortunate enough to have gotten it late in my pregnancy so I only had to deliver about 9 days earlier than my due date. What I didn’t realize was how I didn’t know anything about pre-eclampsia other than what you find on google. I was always pretty healthy and had low to normal blood pressure so I wasn’t a high risk pregnancy and no one thought anything of it. I also didn’t factor in that my doctor would send me to be admitted and then go on vacation with her family and not deliver my baby. Or that they would discharge me only to have me go back in days later because my baby developed jaundice. Or that I would get pneumonia and still be severely swollen a week after delivering. None of these factors could have been predicted. What I did have a choice in was how it was handled and who my doctor was. I went through a couple of doctors after that, trying to find one that I felt comfortable with and finally settling on the actual doctor who delivered my baby. I tried to complain about how I was treated but it fell on deaf ears and I didn’t try hard enough. I was too exhausted with having a new baby and feeling so bad, I gave up on pursuing the lack of care I received. It was traumatic to say the least, but the one good thing that resulted from this medical disaster (other than my healthy baby) was I found a renewed sense of power. Over my body, over my life. I was a mom now. And I was responsible for someone other than myself. I wasn’t going to let anyone tell me or force me to do something I wasn’t comfortable with from now on. Not my husband, not a family member, no one.
Not everyone has that luxury or is that lucky. And I’m thankful for every lesson I’ve learned and continue to learn. I’ve met and talked to so many young women who had similar or worse experiences than me and it’s unsettling. We have to demand more from our community, our doctors, from our government when it comes to healthcare because as a society if one is sick then we all are. We’re all here living on this planet together.
And we deserve better when it comes to how we view our health and others. So please, do your research and take your health seriously no matter what.
As we fast forward from spring to now summer, I find myself still trying to get my sh** together. Holding myself accountable and finding my missing motivation has been a struggle since being pregnant, but now I feel everything is slowly falling into place. Slowly. But patience is a virtue right?
We just bought a house and had to move almost 10 years of crap we’ve accumulated along with moving baby stuff that rivals our adult stuff in number, I started a new job at a local fitness center and on top of that I’m trying to focus on losing this ever present baby weight. Why? Well because we’re thinking about baby #2. Are you tired yet? Because I am.
Now as busy as I may feel, I’m sure there are people out there busier and living more hectic lives than what I’m doing. But for me, it’s a constant struggle to keep calm, keep one eye on my toddler and juggle work and my home life. I don’t know how moms do it. I’m determined to get it together one day. And until that day, I have this blog to remind myself and others that we’re not alone.
I have to say that working at a gym now is just the kickstart I needed to keep a steady workout routine and make it part of my weekly schedule. Little things have made a big difference. For instance, Mondays I go into work later in the afternoon, so I put my little one in his wagon and we go for a walk around the neighborhood. I get my steps in and a good sweat since it’s summer in the south and he gets to be outdoors and see the sights. He loves it and so do I.
I’m seeing the results that I’ve been waiting for. It only took me 2 years….
Stay tuned for more.
January and February have flown by and it’s March already. I can’t believe it. I also can’t believe that I have a 19 month old walking, sort of talking Tasmanian devil that runs me ragged.
My well-being has been put on the back burner. Working out…what’s that? The weather has been so unpredictable here in Louisiana that both the baby and I are clamoring for spring so we can be outside. I long for running in the park. And I never thought that would ever happen…
My biggest regret over these past 19 months has been that I let my expectations get the best of me. It’s only been 19 months and I popped out a human being so I should give myself a little more credit. It’s easier said than done. I’ve never been someone that compares myself to others or was jealous. Never in my entire life have I felt or done those things, until I became a mom. I compared my pregnancy to others and my post-baby body and how fast some moms lost their baby weight. I found myself wondering if my baby was going to do the same things my friend’s baby was doing and how soon. All kinds of crazy things. This Mom business had me a little wacky. So I stopped and sat back and realized everyone has first time Mom issues but I need to worry about me and that’s that.
2018 was supposed to be a year of no resolutions and no excuses, but lately that’s all I seem to have. Either it’s cold and rainy (and my gym room in the house is now an overflow of baby crap/storage room) or someone is sick or there’s Mardi Gras and parades and balls….it’s always something.
Well, the winter kicked my butt, mentally and physically, but I’m still alive and ready to get more active and healthy. For my sake and for my toddler. It’s time to “spring forward” and work on me. I think moms sometimes forget that if they’re not healthy and happy, well then no one in the house is.
First things first. This personal trainer has to stop thinking that just because I’m a trainer and I know how to workout at home doesn’t mean it’s something that I like to do or that it’s easy. Because it’s not. There are too many distractions and nap times are getting tricky so working out when he naps is not as easy as it used to be. So step one….join a gym.